Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
