he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
