was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
