I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
