I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
