His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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