No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
