Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
