Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
