eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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