She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
