She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
