Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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