About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
