I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
