Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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