Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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