dude i'm inner monologue high
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize