I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
40s are totally the cure
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
