I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
