We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
