garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
