i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
