Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
