I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
