some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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