I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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