I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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