Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
