I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
