im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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