So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
