I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
