Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
