My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
