My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize