She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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