He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
