u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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