There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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