Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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