Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
