I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
