First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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