I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize