Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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