I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
