He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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