kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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