sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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