Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
