I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize