She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
