Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
