I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I came so hard my ears popped.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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