There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
As shirtless as possible
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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